Ah, Monday nights. The only night during the week where I am allowed two hours to watch tv on the big screen. Big deal at my house. Why? Oh yeah, because I still don’t have cable in my room. Because I still live at home with mom and dad. And the cable can’t reach my room. Anyway. Obviously these two hours are devoted to The Bachelorette. As much as I would love to watch it in peace and not have to answer questions or listen to comments from my parents, I am not granted that precious gift. So, instead, I put up with the bizarre questions and comments.
Here are a few questions and statements from this season so far…
“I thought that girl was on the last season?”
-Mom (she missed the whole JoJo is the Bachelorette thing)
“Do you have to have a mean guy because there was a mean girl?”
-Dad (in reference to Chad and Olivia)
“Wait, is Chad still the moron?”
“This is seriously on for another hour?!”
“Is that really his occupation?”
“They encourage cat fights. They want these guys to be piss-y and jerk-like.”
“Do you really think a group of five guys sit around talking about another guy? No. They talk about football. This is all scripted.”
“I feel bad for the guys who don’t really like her and are made like her by the producers.”
“I had a dream about Buenos Aires last night.”
“You do know this isn’t real, right?”
“How many guys are going to say ‘I’m falling for JoJo’? It’s been said 40 times in the last half hour!”
“I bet he’s reading off of cue cards from a guy standing behind her.”
“Oh, you lost. Now get in the car and get out of the country. As quick as you can.”
And my favorite..
“What type of people even go on this show? I would be so embarrassed if you did that, Alana.”
So I applied to be on the show.
THANK GOD Chase won that two on one. Ugh, love him. But you can bring Derek back for my season. But keeping Alex around? Really? Definitely would have just given the rose to James and have been done with it. But that’s just me. And I’m not the Bachelorette. Yet.
Until next time..