If I Hit the Jackpot

As I’m sure you have probably heard, the Powerball is sitting on a pretty 1.4 billion dollars for tomorrow night’s drawing. Can you imagine holding that flimsy piece of paper in your hand while they read out the winning numbers you just so happen to have? I think I would go into an uncontrollable fit of laughter and then start acting like a pterodactyl (I do a good impression).

My favorite part about the lottery is the discussion that comes with it. I love asking people what they would do if they were to win. After all the answers I have heard, I have come to the conclusion that most everyone is a liar.

You’re going to honestly tell me that the FIRST thing you do is equally distribute the money among your friends and family. Yeah, I’m calling BS. The best response I got was “I’m donating every penny of it to charity.” Well isn’t that sweet of you. You probably also asked for world peace for Christmas. BUT I AIN’T BUYING IT, FOLKS. I’m pretty positive you would keep a couple of dollars for yourself.

Let me tell you what I would do. And I am openly admitting to taking the selfish route.

First things first, I’m getting a lawyer. This way, I don’t have to claim it so my name doesn’t get mentioned to the public. I guarantee you I would have friends come knocking on my door that I didn’t even know I had.

Now for the good stuff. I plan to treat myself to the following…
2016 Mercedes-Benz G-Class.
A house on the beach in the Caribbean or Mediterranean, can’t decide.
A private jet to get me there.
A boat to entertain me while I’m there. And by boat I mean super yacht.
And a pair of booties I’ve had my eye on.

I also plan to pay up front for my parents to be in the best retirement homes. They’re gonna have so much fun playing corn hole and eating soft foods for the rest of their days. I might even take my jet to go visit them. KIDDING. I love my parents dearly so I’m buying them some fancy cars and whatever else they want. My brother on the other hand, he’s lucky if he’s getting a penny. JK, Collie. I’ll give you a monthly allowance of $20 or something.

Would I donate to charity? Absolutely.

The rest of the money? I’m investing it. So I can be a trillionaire.

So there you have it. My selfish and realistic approach to inheriting 1.4 bill.

Fingers crossed I have the winning ticket and if not me, then you.





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